Mittens Rule

by Troy Bishopp

I never thought of Bernie Sanders, as a “fashionista”—- and still don’t. But come-on folks, who knew that one of the 2021 presidential inauguration highlights was a thoughtfully crafted, repurposed, pair of cozy white and brown patterned wool mittens. As a farmer, I can appreciate the practicality of staying warm sitting on a cold, socially-distant chair without a fire or a flask of Woodford Reserve. No matter your political affiliation, Mr. Sanders was “right” in keeping his pinkies warm with spiffy mittens. Respect the “Bern” (warmth) takes on a whole new meaning. 🔥

Many years ago now, I had the very good fortune of being a grazing mentor and working with an incredibly passionate grass farmer from East Meredith, N.Y. named Catharina Kessler. This descendant of Swedish royalty carefully nurtured her Black Angus cattle, multi-colored sheep and pastured poultry as we discussed grazing strategies, water systems, marketing and her life-long dream to become a farmer.  By the time the mentorship ended we had become good friends.  Upon graduation, she presented me with a pair of handmade mittens.

These were no ordinary mitts. They were handcrafted from her own wool and made in the traditional Lovikka style of northern Sweden’s indigenous people.  On the radius of the cuff, in order, were the colors yellow, blue and green.  She said, “In the spirit of my homeland these represent the sun, the water and the grass.”  Being that these were the first mittens she created since being on the farm, I was truly honored by this warm gift with so much history.

With the recent Bernie mitten memes, I looked at those mittens closer, a little tattered and torn, with my hands still warm, wrapped around the steering wheel of my tractor and thought about Catharina’s yarn.  It’s a tale of quality and love that is timeless.  You just don’t find that with a pair of gloves from Walmart.  Because they are so special, I keep’em no matter what, even with holes created by farming’s wear and tear.  Luckily I have a secret weapon to make them last—Mom’s mittens.

I am a confessed mitten throwback.  When all the kids in the neighborhood were donning the latest in linings coupled with psychedelic color tones, I was wearing custom-made hand-ware with an extra long cuff from my Mommy.  She would ask what color you wanted (in general) and then match it up with shades of whatever spoke to her that day at the local sewing shop.  No two pair were ever alike.  Sometimes you would get black striped, rainbow tipped and the occasional zigzag pattern. Every once in while, my brother and I would fight over a pair when she really hit the color sweet spot.  Dallas Cowboy’s motif comes to mind.

I don’t remember anyone brave enough to mess with two rugged farm boys wearing mom’s mittens.  You just didn’t go there, unless you wanted your ass handed to ya.  Winter football in the front yard reminds me how valuable they were.  Hiking the cold pigskin into a teenage boy’s hardened gloves was a recipe for fumbles and the ever famous, “dogpile”, while the mitts clung to the ball like summertime.  Us mitten-wielding teenagers never complained because our fingers were together and warm, except for the lonely thumb, but we could have him join the digit family to stay warm between downs.  If we were really serious we would double up a pair and watch the competition whine.

Believe it or not, I tried to “knit one pearl two” but ended my career just making a funny looking headband.  I’m not treading on my mom’s mojo.  Her prowess as a “ninja with needles” has clothed my daughter’s and granddaughter’s tootsies, made dish cloths and hot-pads for my wife and like my friend from Houghtaling Hollow farm, is creating warmth with a story.

The tenderness of handmade items doesn’t end at the farm.  My mom is still part of a local volunteer group of ladies ranging in age from 50 to 90 that make hats for cancer patients.  The Caps for Cancer gals have produced and donated thousands of caps, shawls and lap blankets from donated yarn, free of charge to the Regional Cancer Center at Faxton Hospital in Utica, N.Y. for patients needing the same comfort as Bernie’s hands. The caring group have even compiled a pattern booklet and have sister organizations around the country.

Upon examining Catharina’s “holy” mittens from the tractor seat, I stopped and thought of mom’s work with the caps.  Covering the tears in the sacred mittens was an easy and spiritual fix —-just put my mom’s mittens underneath as a sheath and move on.  Never did two pairs of anything go together so well and with so much heart.  Might seem odd but I actually took a picture of the two new old friends.  My fingers really enjoyed the marriage between the cultures and styles of Sweden and New York.

I saw a pair of Catharina’s famous wool mittens at a raffle auction and put several bids in amounting to eighty dollars, but alas I was denied at the end by someone who needed the love a little bit more.  I can hear your question, “Eighty dollars for a pair of real wool mittens?”  Are you freaking crazy?  I did the math and no, not in the least. For me, it was only 8 bucks a year for heirloom quality hand-wear, made from local ingredients, stimulating business on a farm and creating a lasting memory with a fellow farmer.  Heck, I should have paid a hundred dollars for them.  It’s hard to depreciate a good yarn.